10:34 p.m. | 2005-02-27 Fishy Fashion. Tonight, for the very first time in my life, I watched the Academy Awards. (Imagine my surprise that the Academy Awards and the Oscars are not two separate ceremonies.) Now, I�ve seen snippets before and, of course, have always heard the Monday morning scuttlebutt about it all. In fact, I�ve even attended some parties in honor of this ceremony, but I found the food and company more interesting than fancy clothes and acceptance speeches. What got me this year was the host. Honestly. I love Chris Rock and he tends to excel at pushing the envelope on many serious issues. In a way that people listen. I wanted to see how he�d navigate this particular old school minefield. I wasn�t disappointed, let me say that. One reason that I�ve never been a fan might be because I�m not an avid movie-goer. In fact, I�ve not seen any of the movies, films or shorts that were honored tonight. Not a one. And, I�ve never been into star fashion. Ever. The elimination of those two elements leaves the host and acceptance speeches. You don�t see the host much and the acceptance speeches are not all that great. Not that I would do better. Thanking people seems to be futile in that venue yet everybody tries to do it really well. In 45 seconds. Truly, it is futile. And, the fashion? I�m not particularly knowledgeable about fashion nor am I impressed by fancy designers. Would I want to wear several million dollars worth of diamonds? No. That�s burdensome and I don�t even like diamonds. Particularly, I�m befuddled by the plethora of �mermaid� dresses. I don�t know if that�s typical for these events; I just know that long gowns are the norm. But, these mermaid dresses? They�re tight around the bodice, waist and hips and then flare out around the knees. It would seem like that would make walking easier but yeah, not so much. And, it just looks weird. The most interesting one? The shiny silver sequined number � that really looked like a mermaid. Like a silver fish with scales. I hate to say it but it makes me think that the designers are a little too familiar with �flirty fishing�. But, I persevered. I was bored a lot but didn�t abandon my mission. My favorite part? All the awards for the obscure, behind the scenes folks. (Because they are my kind of folks, pretty much.) They do some fantastic work, are revered and are truly humble about any sort of honor. I like their speeches much better. They stammer, much like I would do. Outside of that, I don�t have much to say on my behalf. I spent a large portion of the day catching up with diaries. I�d be completely caught up except I had to stop in order to cook my breakfasts and lunches. Which was followed by cleaning up. Not so exciting. Catching up was good though. I love reading all your diaries and I really don�t like to get behind in that. And, forty-plus? I completely admire your incredible stair-falling abilities. I�m not even remotely that graceful. Love that story. Especially the punctuation with the heels. That was classy. Finally, yes, Mr. Domestic Violence is back in the building. Apparently, he was welcomed back. That welcome was followed by the presumably mandatory yelling, screaming, fighting and last but not least, door slamming. Repeatedly. It�s ironic that the very door that they keep slamming is also in various states of repair. I�ve run into Mr. DV several times this weekend and was surprised to find that he�s genuinely afraid of me. The fear is so strong it�s palpable. Yet unspoken. I�ve seen that look before (mostly from MyMother) � I�m onto him and he knows that. Considering the fact that he�s double my weight and much taller than I, I�m happy I can strike fear in him with a mere look. Currently, I�m banking on that ability because I don�t have much else to bring to the table. Or to a fight. I mean, I could fling some hardbound literature at him, but I don�t think it�d stop him. Plus, it�d offend my literary sensibilities. your thoughts? seed flower