10:17 p.m. | 2005-06-02 So It�s Christmas. Regular readers know that my family celebrates Christmas in July rather than Christmas in December. However, much to my chagrin, it�s become a rather fluid holiday. Last year, Christmas in July was celebrated really late in August. This year, it�s gonna be celebrated really early in June. Personally, I�m not happy about all that. It was too late last year and it�s way too early this year. But, I can�t really bitch about since Christmas is really in December and our family moved it to July. When you get all fluid like that, you really can�t complain, you know? Yet I am disappointed that the majority of people involved take it so seriously we don�t plan anything in July because that�s when it�s Christmas. It�s only two people that fuck it up almost every year now. For lots of us, it�s the one time of year that we see each other. That�s important to me; not so much to a couple of folks. I guess. Nonetheless, Christmas celebrations start tomorrow night. And, I�m prepared. Not ready, mind you, but prepared. My car is prepped, packing has commenced and my presents are all wrapped. As much as I hate that we often have to move Christmas so radically around the summer calendar, I�m quite excited. Over this weekend, I get to meet � for the first time � both my GreatNephew (18 months) and BabyNephew (6 weeks). Yay for the little ones. They bring everything into perspective sometimes. I�ll also be joining the Friday night gathering for the first time in several years. The last time was about 4-5 years ago when MyDad was still alive. I surprised him that time much like I�ll probably surprise StepMom this time. Talk about fluid. Yeah. Speaking of little ones, I recently received the following remarks within a couple of days: �You don�t have any children?� �You do realize that, at your age (40), you�re not gonna ever have kids, right?� No, I don�t have any children and yes I do realize that I�m probably not ever going to have any. I only say �probably� because I can�t say �never�. Mostly because, karma-wise? As soon as I say �never�, I�ll end up pregnant. I love kids. However, I�m quite happy to refrain from having any. If I end up with someone who has kids? Great. No problem there. It�s just that, in my head, I can�t have kids until I�m married. Marriage is not something I�ve achieved yet, so no kids. That�s only in my head though. I know lots of unmarried mothers and fathers who do have children and are great parents. Hats off to all of them. That�s an outstanding achievement. If I ever had a dream of having a child, I�m okay with that dream being dashed. I wouldn�t want a life devoid of children though. Not at all. Fortunately, other people provide me with a life rich with kids. Of all ages. Within the last couple of weeks, I actually had the opportunity to hold, feed and burp a wee one. I love that. Being 40 without kids is not a horrible thing to me. Yet, I know that�s the worst nightmare for many women. I love being 40 and I�m just thrilled with the fact that I survived this long. That, in and of itself, is a great accomplishment. For me. Anyway, tomorrow is Christmas Eve, if you will. I can�t wait to see everyone and I�m excited about spending some extra time with DearestSister. Most of all, though, I�m thrilled about the prospect of welcoming GreatNephew and BabyNephew to their very first Christmas in July [in June]. Can�t wait to meet them. Merry Christmas! your thoughts? seed flower