7:51 p.m. | 2005-07-31 Dear Dad. You�ve become an inspiration to me in a surprising way recently. See, my doctor told me that I have high cholesterol. Because of our family history of heart disease, including yours, I need to be careful with my health. Yet, I�ve often not heeded words of advice from my doctor. This time? This time it�s different. Because of you. Remember when I bought my first new car when I was 24? You were back in the States from Germany for your summer vacation. And, you helped me negotiate the deal, or rather, you negotiated the deal because I hate that crap and you always loved to negotiate. (I�m surprisingly good at negotiating now though. You�d be amazed.) Afterwards, you, Stepmom and I all went out to lunch. You had recently been told that you had high cholesterol and that you needed to change your diet. So, you ordered a salad for lunch. And proceeded to object, vigorously, to every single bite. �What kind of asinine diet is this� you wanted � even demanded � to know. I wasn�t surprised. Not one damned bit. Your diet had always been atrocious. Fruits and vegetables were superfluous and stupid. They had no business even being on your plate. But you struggled through that first attempt at changing your diet. It didn�t stick for long though. Once back in Germany, the schnitzels and sausages were just too hard for you to resist. And the whole exercise thing didn�t really work well for you either. I understood. Soon you started experiencing anginas on a regular basis. Even a small heart attack or two. Eventually, a quadruple bypass. Yet you still struggled to eat heart healthy. Over the years, I watched you try so hard to make it work for you. Finally, it did. After you retired and started cooking. You snatched up every heart-healthy recipe available and soon you were able to improvise and create your own recipes. It stuck. For many years you finally had your diet and exercise under control. You felt good and you looked good. I�m sure you added years to your life. That�s what made your sudden fatal heart attack so surprising. You had worked so hard and were doing so well only to be brought down by a very severe attack. You were dead within minutes. It didn�t seem fair but your heart had had enough. Now I�ve been diagnosed with high cholesterol and it�s likely to contain a strong genetic component but my diet doesn�t help. Honestly, before your death, I�d probably dick around with my diet without making any substantial changes. Not now though. Unfortunate as it was, you provided me with a very graphic demonstration of what could be in store for me if I don�t get it under control right away. Through you I was able to see the progression of heart disease over many, many years. Through you I learned that shaping up after years of bad habits does not protect you from the consequences. Through you I was able to understand what it�s like to grieve for a close family member lost to a preventable disease. I am so very grateful to you for that. I�m quite sure that you never intended to be an inspiration for achieving good health, but you are. In fact, my diet changed the moment I walked out of the doctor�s office. I�m not fucking around with this thing. Strange as it may be, I think you�d actually be proud of me for that. For taking the doctor seriously. That was never a strong suit for you or me. I have to admit though that it�s going to be easier for me since I love healthy foods. But, I also love hot dogs so I�ll have to make some sacrifices. Wish me luck Dad. your thoughts? seed flower