10:49 p.m. | 2005-11-02 The LUV Tribe. I was watching a rerun of a Survivor episode tonight from a season that I missed. I was puttering around the house at the same time. Very quickly though, I was pulled into the show by the very odd dynamic of this �tribe�. I�ve only seen the latter seasons of this show so the earlier versions kind of crack me up in their �pilot� like nature. What struck me is that all the contestants were constantly hugging each other. They dubbed themselves �The LUV Tribe�. The LUV tribe indeed. Except that the hugging appeared to serve one of two purposes: (1) as a furnace with which to heat oneself, or (2) as a device upon which to prop oneself upright. It was a broken down type of LUV tribe. Quite a thin and hungry one too. And, as one tribe member pointed out in a confessional, there was no real �loving� going on. Just the friendlier kind of �LUV�. Oh, the power of spelling. Not that those words were spelled out in captions or whatnot, I just caught the vibe � and the slight pronunciation differences � from the outtakes. Body language speaks volumes too. I imagine the lack of hygiene also transforms �love� to �LUV�. Or even to �LUV� to �Eeww�. Anyway, in an odd way, that episode reminded me of JournalCon. Where hugging is quite rampant and is also due more to �LUV� than �love�. (Albeit, there�s always some �loving� that�s going on. Not that I know about any of that, just that married folks and couples attend and, well� you know.) Overall though, it�s that feeling that everyone is someone you care about � whether you turn to your right or left � that made me think of JCon. It really is like that. Only everyone is much better dressed and not so hungry or smelly. Speaking of the Con, I had an interesting plane ride home. See, I checked in late so I was one of the last boarders. I finally found an empty seat in the second to last row. Then this happened as I was trying to place my bag in the overhead bin. (FlightAttendant:) Do you need help? (CI:) Yes. I don�t quite have the height for this. (The attendant took care of it of course.) Might I sit here? (To an older guy sitting in the bank of seats.) (OlderGuy:) Oh, please do! (CI:) Um� thanks. (Unsaid: �weird creepy guy�.) (OlderGuy:) What was the reason you said you couldn�t put your bag up? (CI:) Because I don�t have the height? (OG:) Oh, so you�re �vertically challenged�? (Smirk, leer) (CI:) I�m just short. Or whatever. Now, I have to say that the phrase �vertically challenged� annoys me about as much as fingernails on a chalkboard. HATE IT. Being short is not a disability and it�s not a condition that requires a politically correct moniker. I�m short. Plain and simple. I have no issue with that. It�s certainly not a �protected class�. People, and this guy specifically, say �vertically challenged� in a way that they think is cute. It reminds me of when that short person song came out when I was in my teens and people actually picked me up to �say hello� because they thought it was cute. Both things are only funny exactly ONCE. After many repetitions? No. Although, I have to admit that if anyone actually picked me up to say hello nowadays? That�d be funny. But only because it�s been many years and, well, that is funny. Calling me �vertically challenged� is not funny in any way. Not offensive either. Just odd � because being short is not a disability � and weird. Sorry, frolic and detour. Back to the story. OG continued to make some small talk which is when I realized that I�d left my book in my suitcase. I immediately grabbed the airline magazine and pretended to read. I pretended only because I forgot to grab my book on the flight to JCon so I'd already read that magazine. OG also went back to reading. Reading his book about how to pass pilot testing of some sort which I believe was really a prop to impress the ladies. When I grew tired of pretending to read, I switched to the shopping catalog and again feigned great interest. Then, this happened. (OG:) What things are you going to buy? I�m sure you like shopping; all women do. (CI:) (Huh?) I�m just reading this because I forgot my book. I�m not �shopping�. (OG:) Really? I have some magazines you can borrow if you�d like. They�re men�s magazines but I heard somewhere that 25% of women read this type of thing so maybe you�d like to borrow one? Do you? Would you like that? The women are very pretty. (CI:) Uh, no thanks. (OG:) Are you sure? (CI:) Yeah. I�m quite sure. I cannot believe that this man, a stranger to me, actually asked me if I�d like to read his porn magazines on the plane ride. While he was sitting right next to me. I suddenly wanted to sit next to the most obnoxious child aboard while dousing myself with hand sanitizer. As you can imagine, I ran off that plane. And, I didn�t stop running until I was safely aboard the airport shuttle. At the first shuttle stop, this really cute young guy boarded and proceeded to sit next to me. Here�s what happened. (CI:) (Spontaneous utterance) Hey, I just saw you! (He sat across the aisle on the plane listening to his iPod for the whole flight.) (CuteGuy:) Oh yeah, on the plane. Sorry to sit so close to you (he was practically on my lap) but this shuttle�s gonna be really full. (CI:) No worries. CuteGuy then engaged me in conversation for the next twenty minutes or so until we reached the parking lot. He was terribly cute and wonderfully sincere. And, he asked for my number. I�m not sure what to make of the fact that one minute an old man is offering me his porn magazines and the next minute a twenty-something guy is asking for my phone number. I�ve traveled quite a bit and that�s never happened before. Must be the magic of the Con. It just keeps on giving, I suppose. your thoughts? seed flower