10:34 p.m. | 2005-11-05 Person vs. Persona. That was one of the JournalCon panels I wanted to attend. I found the topic intriguing. Not so much when it rivaled my sleep time though. I don�t know what was discussed at that panel � although I know many people appreciated it � yet I�m gonna attempt to tackle that same subject. Right here and right now. According to my dictionary, a person is a human individual. That�s not surprising to me as I�ve always considered myself to be an individual human being. Well, and I tend to refer to myself as a person. All copasetic. However, a persona is either a character assumed by an author in written work or the personality that a person projects in public. Yeah, I can relate. I assume and project. So, who am I? I don�t think about it much as far as my diary goes. I write what I write. I don�t know what type of person or persona I project in this virtual space. I know that I leave stuff out and that there�s more to me than what I type, but I don�t really know how I come across. I have a better idea about how I come across in everyday life though. Because it�s more interactive and I can witness body language and such. As much as online writings are colorful, they lack a certain substantive presence. I�m babbling. Let me get to the point. As many of you might know, heart disease is rampant in my family and this year I discovered that my cholesterol reading is almost off the charts. I haven�t confirmed it yet, but I�m quite certain that I�m genetically predisposed to heart disease. As such, I made a vow to change my eating habits rather dramatically. Just to back up a bit, I�m a descendant of cowboys and farmers, primarily. Strong presence there. Big fans of beef, lard and whole-fat milk. Which is fine when your whole day is spent wrangling animals or plowing fields. It doesn�t work so well when you spend the day sitting on your derriere behind a desk. The most surprising thing about changing my diet is realizing that my love for meat is emotional rather than physical. In my family, meat was the most important part of every meal. Fruits, veggies and grains were only sidekicks. It took me a while to realize that I wouldn�t keel over if I didn�t eat meat for a day, or several days. All this is a long way around to say that I�ve started eating and shopping at my local health food store. Because it�s easy. Well, and they have great food. I have so many options that are heart healthy, and tasty, and I don�t have to think about it so much. Here�s the kick though. I merely want to lower my cholesterol and reduce the risk of developing heart disease. However, once you sign up at the local health food store, a lot of presumptions are made. A persona is presumed. A hippy-dippy, PETA warrior, bra-burning activist cloak is suddenly thrust upon me. When, really, I just want to lower my cholesterol. Don�t get me wrong though, I�m not against the hippy-dippy thing, I�m just not that person. I like natural, I like organic and I don�t like to torture animals either. On the other hand, I do still eat meat (just not so much) and I�m okay with killing live creatures in order to eat. (Of course, because no matter what I eat, it was once alive. Hello, plants? Yeah, very much alive � and according to the place I shop? Live, sprouting plants are the absolute best thing to eat. Because, they�re still alive. Always a little hypocrisy in fervent arguments.) See, what�s most interesting is that, again, I�m just trying to lower my cholesterol. I�m trying new things, exploring options. Yet, it makes other people really decisive� those who want to bully me back into my old eating habits and those who want to shame me into new ones. Good thing I�m a person. An independent human. Capable and quite ready to make my own decisions. As usual, I�ll continue to straddle the fence. your thoughts? seed flower