10:17 p.m. | 2005-12-01 Doctor, Doctor, Give Me The Pews. As you may or may not know, I�ve been spending way too much time at the doctor�s office and in the dentist�s chair. Part of that is due to the fact that I�ve stayed away for a number of years (doctor, not dentist) and part of it is due to the fact that I�m getting older and my former lifestyle is biting me in the butt and laughing at my youthful folly (doctor moreso than the dentist). However, in an attempt to be a good steward of my health � and to square off with my youthful folly � I upped the ante by making an appointment with my eye doctor. Okay. Really. The eye doctor? Not so much a risky move. I mean, my eyesight leaves a lot to be desired but the appointments are the least invasive and not so bad. Trying to rack up the good stewardship points. Anyway, I went to the eye doctor earlier this week. Slight decline in vision in my left eye � which I hadn�t noticed because I never think to cover my right eye, while wearing my glasses, to see if my left-eye vision has decreased. Perhaps, I should do that more often since it has. But, not a big deal. Of course, I did the whole peripheral vision testing thing once again. I�ve always gotten the impression that I totally own that test because the eye doctor people always seem overly enthusiastic about my results. They say things like WOW and whatnot throughout the whole process. Seriously, they get all excited and stuff. I ace that test every single time. Peripheral vision may not be the most impressive skill to have but trust me it�s handy. That�s how I pick up on sneaky behavior. And, let me just say, there are a lot of sneaky people in this world. Just ask my ex-boyfriends. (Actually, they think it�s �magic� but it�s not. Of course. I can just see up down and sideways really well.) So, slight decrease in vision, stellar peripheral vision and now it�s time to dilate my eyes. Not the worst thing. Yet, that�s when they always ask me if I want to check out new frames. When I can�t see. Sometimes I say yes and sometimes I say no. I�ve had my current glasses for a few years so I say yes. I want to look at frames. Notwithstanding the fact that I can barely see. This year? I decided to be all bold. I�ve never been bold with frames before. So, I chose thick-framed glasses in a dark color and different shape. I tried the frames on, attempted to see what I looked like in them but couldn�t see and then purchased them. Just because. Then, I was informed that my eye pressure is a cause for concern. What? Yeah. So, maybe glaucoma. What? But not so much right now. Three signs for glaucoma. Two of them? No sign. Pressure? It�s a sign but I�m one point below the threshold. Have been for three years now. What? Potential heart disease, crowns on my teeth and a warning sign of glaucoma. Are you kidding? Doesn�t my appropriate weight, good dental hygiene and stellar peripheral vision eradicate all that. No? What? JeeSUS. It�s okay now though because I picked up my new frames today. They are bold and they make me look different. More importantly, they take my mind off these other concerns. I mean, the person I see in the mirror today? She can�t possibly have all these health concerns because � oh, she�s so cute with the new glasses and all. If only. If only I didn�t have a doctor�s appointment in two weeks and another dental appointment the following week. Unfortunately, neither of those doctors give one hoot about my awesome peripheral vision. Well, and great sideway eyesight doesn't mitigate the damages of my youthful folly. Or, change genetics. Still, it should count for something. your thoughts? seed flower