10:32 p.m. | 2006-02-14 On Being Short. I�m a short person. I have been all my life, to no surprise. As such, I had to develop a thick skin early on. I did. I�ve heard pretty much every short joke imaginable. I laugh, mostly to be polite, but it gets old. When I hear something new, it�s so refreshing I actually laugh honestly. If the comment is particularly clever, I immediately want to get to know the person. Because really? I�m short. To ignore that fact would be silly. To address that fact in a clever way? That�s attractive. Well, at least to me. It lets me know that you�re not going to ignore the elephant in the room yet you�re not going to bore the elephant, if you will, with sad, sorry, old, repetitive comments/jokes. Like Minarae at JCon. After saying hi, Minarae seemed compelled to comment on my height. She indicated that my diary duly notes that I�m short but she didn�t really think I was that short. I am. And, I have to say that I very much appreciated her response. In fact, I told her that�s why I mention it in my diary. Because I am that short. Being short is a relative thing, of course, but it�s an every day thing with me because it�s referenced by someone every day in some manner � even if it�s only me doing the referencing � because I am that short. If I was only kind of short? I wouldn�t mention it because it wouldn�t be part of my daily life. And, of course, I suppose that I could be untruthful here in this virtual world. Or, if that idea was repugnant to me, I could simply not mention my height. But no. I mention it because I am short enough that others mention it on a regular basis, I�m subjected to jokes every day, it�s a way that people describe me and frankly I�m annoyed just enough in certain circumstances (think tall shelves) that it is something I deal with all the time. Oh, and hats off to Minarae. She had the absolute best comment to date: �You�re like, um, a POCKET BLOGGER!� Pocket Blogger is the single best short-related nickname I�ve ever had. Come to think of it though, I don�t think I�ve ever had a nickname that didn�t involve my height somehow. Which would make that nickname just an overall best nickname EVER. Love ya, Minarae! Hope to see you soon. So yeah, I hear a lot about my height. In my lifetime, only two people have made offensive remarks. If you think about it, since I�m female, a person really has to work hard to make an offensive short remark. If I hadn�t heard such comments myself, I wouldn�t think there could be an offensive statement about my short stature. Of course, it�s all about tone and bad intent. No matter. It�s still about my height so I really can�t take any of that seriously. Oh, I get that I�ve been dissed, but yeah, cross-reference the very thick skin that I started donning in kindergarten. Yes, such offenses are considered immature and unimaginative to me. (Sorry if you�ve ever tried to offend me by throwing out a short comment. Don�t mean to call you immature or unimaginative. On the other hand, none of you have ever done that.) Plus they just bounce right off. Please don�t call me stupid though. That one hurts. Like the dickens. But yeah, short jokes. I really do appreciate the imaginative and clever ones. Mostly they seem situational though. Like when I was traveling in Europe with MyDad and StepMom and we stopped at a hostel for the night. At the time, only StepMom spoke enough Deutsche to make the arrangements. After fifteen minutes or so she came back out to the car and said that we could stay there but I�d have to sleep in a (insert foreign word I no longer know). Here�s that. (CI:) What? (SM:) We have a room for your dad and I but your accommodations are different. (CI:) (I was use to different... down the hall, in another area, that kind of thing) Okay. Like what? (SM:) Well, it�s one room. (CI:) Okay. I have to sleep on the floor or something? (SM:) Uh, something. Not the floor. Um, in a crib. (CI:) Really, a crib? (SM:) Yeah. That�s all they have. A room with a crib. (CI:) Um, alright. I guess. (SM:) HA! Just joking! I booked two rooms. You're down the hall though and we have to share a bathroom with all the other residents. (CI:) HA! A crib? Brilliant! Really though, a common bathroom again? (SM:) Yeah. I�m really not kidding about that. You might think that the above is not a short-related joke and it may even seem somewhat mean, but trust me, it was a situational joke. See, when I traveled in Europe � both times � at 18 and 26 � I was treated as a child by whatever country I was in. I�m short and I look young. Or rather, I looked young at the time. I was always treated as and considered a child. That�s what made that particular joke funny. Because StepMom played on that assumption. It was even funnier because she knew that when I got really tired, as I was that night, I would sleep in a crib just to lay my head down. (Traveling is exhausting, you know?) Best of all, she played that hard � went through all that � just to make a short joke. That�s what makes it not only funny, but endearing. You work that hard for a short joke? I�ll laugh. No question. And, as I�m a consummate judge of short jokes, leave one in my comments and I�ll let you know if it�s funny. Better yet, if you know me, give it your best shot. your thoughts? seed flower